before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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