wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
