If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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