Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You are a genius and a whore.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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