Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
