she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
