Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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