There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
