So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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