and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
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I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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