What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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