The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
