R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
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hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
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I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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