I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
