I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
