So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize