i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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