Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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