i just had sex bonerless
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
What a dumb baby whore.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
