So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
