I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize