i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
