sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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