so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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