There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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