What did I eat last night that was bloody?
two words...techno handjob
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
