Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
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I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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