..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My cat gives me a boner
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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