I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize