yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
