just tell him i said nine months
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
