Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
