dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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