worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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