I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize