Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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