Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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