I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
