she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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