if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
