I have demons in me.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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