she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
