I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Fuck appropriateness.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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