dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.