Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

dude did u upper deck my toilet?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

haha like two months ago

(314): View more from Missouri

i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u

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(775): View more from Nevada

Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink

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(217): View more from Illinois

Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

and my herpes radar will keep us safe

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(740): View more from Ohio

well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.

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(269): View more from Michigan

Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.

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(517): View more from Michigan

He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.

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