I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?