don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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