i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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