Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
