but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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