I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
