Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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