how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
