Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
