ADVERTISEMENT

• (408): View more from California

  Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

  Fav 41 7138 1575

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.

  Fav 7 4223 1084

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (434): View more from Virginia

  The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever

  Fav 22 8049 1580

  share tweet
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary

  Fav 5 2648 1480

  share tweet
  
• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  Someone in a vagina costume on campus.

  Fav 7 3261 1160

  share tweet
  

• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

  Fav 24 2343 947

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

  Fav 5 1918 871

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture

  Fav 7 707 1246

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.

  Fav 8 954 1159

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (518): View more from New York

  You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with

  Fav 5 2326 729

  share tweet
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"

  Fav 5 1272 602

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (561): View more from Florida

  I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH

  Fav 1 845 472

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.

  Fav 0 303 432

  share tweet
  

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.

  Fav 1 354 187

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (509): View more from Washington

  Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.

  Fav 2 81 135

  share tweet
  

Randomize