I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
