Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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(334): Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me. http://tfl.nu/y7m9

Replies (24) Good night (2237) Bad night (533)
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(309): View more from Illinois

nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol

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(309): nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol http://tfl.nu/jhs1

Replies (54) Good night (1626) Bad night (3302)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

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(405): Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile. http://tfl.nu/zkhz

Replies (30) Good night (756) Bad night (3203)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like

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(757): It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like http://tfl.nu/masc

Replies (81) Good night (9030) Bad night (1359)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.

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(856): I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good. http://tfl.nu/o2i1

Replies (13) Good night (1275) Bad night (3476)
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(720): View more from Colorado

If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.

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(720): If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/by48

Replies (24) Good night (702) Bad night (3691)
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(716): View more from New York

once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

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(716): once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party http://tfl.nu/h6v5

Replies (10) Good night (871) Bad night (3828)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters

(973): View more from New Jersey

i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet

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(973): can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters (973): i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet http://tfl.nu/povn

Replies (11) Good night (2393) Bad night (878)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.

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(+44): I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't. http://tfl.nu/8pi1

Replies (15) Good night (2829) Bad night (1901)
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(425): View more from Washington

Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.

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(425): Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner. http://tfl.nu/26hb

Replies (6) Good night (2654) Bad night (1127)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis

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(202): Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis http://tfl.nu/68pm

Replies (5) Good night (2469) Bad night (575)
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(805): View more from California

Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate

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(805): Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate http://tfl.nu/qxeb

Replies (5) Good night (1921) Bad night (502)
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(734): View more from Michigan

When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out

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(734): When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out http://tfl.nu/vrth

Replies (5) Good night (754) Bad night (1300)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!

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(973): Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone! http://tfl.nu/i9ym

Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (555)
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(425): View more from Washington

She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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(425): She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around http://tfl.nu/v7uu

Replies (5) Good night (696) Bad night (202)

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