Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

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  (312): Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job http://tfl.nu/iix6
  Replies (27) Good night (5027) Bad night (617)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.

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  (848): life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward. http://tfl.nu/gey7
  Replies (10) Good night (1070) Bad night (2981)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?

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  (802): Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit? http://tfl.nu/yu0u
  Replies (26) Good night (4175) Bad night (1333)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  HOT DATE.

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  (201): Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day. (1-201): HOT DATE. http://tfl.nu/4vki
  Replies (11) Good night (3715) Bad night (1449)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.

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  (518): I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred. http://tfl.nu/3k1m
  Replies (11) Good night (3769) Bad night (781)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.

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  (904): all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home. http://tfl.nu/xqx6
  Replies (9) Good night (809) Bad night (3042)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.

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  (303): My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume. http://tfl.nu/bk4q
  Replies (8) Good night (2752) Bad night (833)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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  (419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel
  Replies (7) Good night (2719) Bad night (631)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."

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  (973): Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke." http://tfl.nu/posr
  Replies (5) Good night (1974) Bad night (677)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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  (423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (850)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.

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  (520): Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties. http://tfl.nu/5b50
  Replies (2) Good night (964) Bad night (309)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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  (724): I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser. http://tfl.nu/pdzm
  Replies (6) Good night (463) Bad night (1866)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?

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  (315): Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal? http://tfl.nu/b8jf
  Replies (16) Good night (1027) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time

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  (803): Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time http://tfl.nu/n1yf
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (317)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.

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  (+44): Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake. http://tfl.nu/d4ep
  Replies (1) Good night (856) Bad night (182)

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