Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.

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  (734): Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid. http://tfl.nu/qckj
  Replies (33) Good night (810) Bad night (4344)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.

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  (717): took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college. http://tfl.nu/bhs0
  Replies (12) Good night (3931) Bad night (629)
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  (914): View more from New York

  my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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  (914): my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet http://tfl.nu/lao3
  Replies (55) Good night (2780) Bad night (4994)
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  (619): View more from California

  Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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  (619): Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it? http://tfl.nu/4s1d
  Replies (34) Good night (2082) Bad night (4648)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys

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  (603): wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys http://tfl.nu/ak8d
  Replies (17) Good night (6037) Bad night (2531)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I woke up to her vacumming the grass

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  (819): I woke up to her vacumming the grass http://tfl.nu/p4j1
  Replies (18) Good night (5541) Bad night (1250)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.

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  (803): Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical. http://tfl.nu/xb5u
  Replies (19) Good night (4506) Bad night (1476)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.

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  (225): Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe. http://tfl.nu/nl8k
  Replies (5) Good night (2040) Bad night (1134)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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  (224): I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store. http://tfl.nu/th0h
  Replies (57) Good night (1642) Bad night (2673)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.

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  (505): The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila. http://tfl.nu/7hos
  Replies (6) Good night (1288) Bad night (591)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

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  (315): i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy http://tfl.nu/pdy7
  Replies (9) Good night (2081) Bad night (866)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious

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  (906): too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious http://tfl.nu/wso0
  Replies (7) Good night (1109) Bad night (452)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses

  (770): View more from Georgia

  We'll talk about it later...

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  (478): How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses (770): We'll talk about it later... http://tfl.nu/vxl3
  Replies (2) Good night (1058) Bad night (478)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.

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  (616): Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did. (616): So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that. http://tfl.nu/as93
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (625)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.

  (716): View more from New York

  The apple don't fall far from that tree.

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  (704): My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator. (716): The apple don't fall far from that tree. http://tfl.nu/rljy
  Replies (4) Good night (841) Bad night (429)

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