i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.