I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I stole a fireplace last night.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
be right there i have to get my cape
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.