The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...