Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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